I hate having days where I miss you.

I guess I have days where I miss you.
I have days where I realize I still love you,
and I don't understand my life.

How it got..
Here.

I cannot believe my mother is gone.
I cannot believe you left.
I cannot believe you don't love me too.

My heart is supposed to be healing,
and here it is still breaking.

How?
How did I get here?
To this point?
What am I supposed to do now?

I just want to talk to you.
But you won't.

You shoved me out.

So I guess... yeah.
I have days where I miss you.
Where I love you still so deeply,
I can't comprehend my reality.

And those are the days I am
forced to remember.
Forced to remember you walking out
and my heart walking with you.

Where I remember
I can't talk to my mom about it
because God allowed someone else
to take her to Him.
Suddenly. No goodbyes.

Where I remember I am on my own
and I have to figure out how to not love you.
Or at least forget my feelings like you did.

I hate missing you.