Before.
How do I explain?
Like the times when I was alone.
Every time I pass a mirror,
I think of all those times.
How I am here again?
In this feeling..
Have I always been so alone?
Have I always put up this many walls?
What did I do last time to bring them down?
I went for it.
I saw someone cute or funny,
and I just went for it.
But this time,
every face I look at is tainted..
Stained with my melancholy and anger.
How do you get the stains out?
I don't even know what kind of stain it is,
what kind of stain affects everything?
How do you forget your life?
More than anything,
I crave a new beginning.
But my vision is not allowing me
to imagine a future.
I just want a friend.
A new helpful friend,
who can teach me to move on.
Who enjoys doing homework with me
on a Saturday night,
and shows me the fun in a world
that does not involve intoxication.
Just the company of someone
who brings light and joy,
that I won't crush or break.
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