I lay my head back to dream

listening calmly to the sound of the piano,
the fan blowing softly next to me.
smoke covers my eyes and i lay my head back to dream..
a new beginning seems to be upon me,
i have fought long and hard battles of the heart and soul.

it is time to rest.
I have not bothered to write out my heart,
not in a way that is understood.
I am in love.
Unrequited indeed.

I am left with a something shattered and confusing.
After my mother's passing, and my ex relaxing,
and my puppy crying and I felt like I was dying because
Life came in with a giant punch and told my ass to get the fuck up.
Screamed at me to get up.
Made me stand up and fight.
EVEN WHEN IT WASN'T RIGHT.

Fuck, that shit wasn't right.

but here i am still.
quiet and small, but here nonetheless.
more cautious now.

but i find myself acting so irresponsibly,
so rash to make a decision.
at the end even so, i find myself lost.

wondering what i did wrong. to deserve this sort of torment.
Life is a funny thing,
decides it's time to stand up and fight for your breath,
your will to survive.

So another beginning I am found. But this time around I will not forget.
I will always remember.
I will write a new story.
Because I am allowed to be someone new.
Just like you, too. my dearest.